thirty one

happy halloween :)

ive been sitting outside for the last 4 hours doing henna tattoos for pe

ople at the seb h fest..everything turned out a lot better than i expected

Suni did a cuff design on my arm which looks pretty cool.. the henna 

still hasnt dried yet which is why it looks distorted and green.. i have to use a blow dryer to heat it up then put lemon juice on it so that it retains its color... women always make their lives more complicated than they should hehe

i also convinced psa to make a bucket of doom- which basically consists of small slips of paper that have actions on it  --and when people choose something from the bucket they have to perform that action in public. lol for example one of them was to stock someone they dont know for 10 seconds and hym  in their ear...another one was to evolve into a wearwolf and then eat yourself until you die..

i know these sound really stupid... but it was hilarious watching people you dont know actually do these in public... i didnt realize how persuasive i can be :)

BTW- for those of you who dont know, chipotle is giving out FREEE BURRITOS  TODAY!! but you have to come into their store with aluminum on your body! you dont have to cover your entire body with it.

i plan on making antennas for my ears 

As for my halloween costume I failed horribly :( 

I had a few ideas but i couldnt find any of the things i needed at party city or joanns ...

i really wanted to find a hot red short wig but everything was sold out!! i ended up being a pirate 20 min before i was going to leave.. boring i know! but i think i pulled it off well 

on a side note the speaker at jumma was really good today.. no matter what my mood is going into the ifc, i always come out refreshed. im pretty surprised how many people on campus show up every week. its been getting so crowded they prob need a new facility. 

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   ^  ^

    OO

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  VVVV

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There will be times when people shut you down and question your beliefs. There will be times when people dont understand you and will mock your actions. There will be times when people will take a bat and attempt to shatter your foundation with a single blow. There's nothing you can do to prepare for these times, except be aware of the strength and quality of your foundation. 

Everyone has a foundation, it just depends how soundly yours has been built. Your foundation doesnt comprise of your family background, what you have been taught or even what have seen. Each stone is placed placed based on your actions; an image of your faith. Only your faith builds your foundation. Some bricks are placed more hastily than others, which makes our foundation a bit more unstable in places; but none the less it can still stand firm and tall. 

Every step I've taken towards my goal in life has been a matter of choice and never a matter of habit or convenience. At first this has made it so much more difficult for me to be a practicing believer; however, its forced me to really dig deep within and act based on my connection. When is the next step to move forward? What is the next step forward? The journey has definitely been an interesting one; but it has made my faith only stronger. 

You can't rely on family, friends or outside resources to walk you along your path; only Allah can do that. While we may be fooled at times, because of how "comfortable" we get living in this physical world, we need a way to remind ourselves of what truly builds our foundation and what does not. 

I really should have written this post last night-- but I couldn't because I was so upset. I was questioned, mocked, and torn down by people who I felt had helped me be on the path that I am on today. I made a decision a few days ago to take the next "step" in my path and clearly I was not supported. It really upset me that people so close to me, couldn't support me on something that I wanted to do. But when it comes down to it at the end of the day its between you and God anyway. Sure it makes it easier when your surroundings encouarge your beliefs and values; but you HAVE to be strong enough to continue to do whats on your path whether others agree with you or not. Your connection has to be that much stronger and you need to be that much more alert, so that you realize you cannot act based on others. This seems like commonsense, but it is very hard to do. When you are not supported you feel rejected, and alone--- which makes you doubt your beliefs. This is where your foundation comes in play. How soundly did you built it? Who was there to watch? No one except God.

Transitive Property

next week = 3 days of toronto

3 days of toronto = wedding, food, fam, traveling

wedding, food, family, traveling = nikki excited :)

nikki excited :)  (not)= focused on work

(not) focused on work = nikki not passing exams

nikki not passing exams = nikki not happy :(

>>>>> Result <<<<<<

next week = nikki not happy :(

Food for Thought

A few of my Favorite Quotes:

I wrote some of these myself-- but I'm not going to tell u which ones :P

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind"

-Ghandi

"In the end we only conserve what we love. We love what we understand. We understand what we are taught."

"Be the change you want to see in the world."

-Ghandi

"One must desire something to be alive"

"Learn to live. Live to learn."

"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it" (law of attraction)

"Looking at you reminds me of who I am."

"Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding."

"Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally"

-Tolle

"The first reaction to truth is hatred."

"You cannot transcend what you do not know. To go beyond yourself, you must know yourself first."

"The only way to truly appreciate what you have is by using it in the right way."

"Being self-conscious is being God conscious"

"As humans we must constantly question ourselves and all new ideas. That is what growth is. If you don't agree with something now in your life, you may see things differently down the road. But if you shut off your mind to new ways of thought, you could be limiting yourself in ways you never thought possible."

"Internal happiness can never be replaced with external pleasures."

"One who looks outside, dreams; one who looks inside awakes."

"Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now. Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now"

-Tolle

"Strength is born in the deep silence of long-suffering hearts; not amid joy."

"When I asked God for strength

He gave me difficult situations to face

When I asked God for brain and brown

He gave me puzzles in life to solve

When I asked God for happiness

He showed me some unhappy people

When I asked God for wealth

He showed me how to work hard

When I asked God for favors

He showed me opportunities to work hard

When I asked God for peace

He showed me how to help others

God gave me nothing I wanted

He gave me everything I needed"

"You presume you are a small entity, 

But within you is enfolded the entire universe...

What you seek is within you, if only you reflect"

A Bunch of Shabeel

So ive been a busy bee for the last few days.. 

Thursday we had homecoming at UMBC (which included a bo

nfire, free chipotle, fireworks, etc), then a delayed msa eid dinner (which btw the way i have no idea where that came from?), and followed by a visit to yousef's house bc haroon was visiting from uva med. i was basically chilling around fires all night no matter where i went.. im not sure why. i got a lot of marshmallow and chocolate on my face. btw halal marshmallows are really gross.

Friday went to visit peps at cp for psa's tamasha show. kinda of upset bc no one from umbc came to support our group-- except me and 2 other people (out of 20ish). whether they wanted to be there or not .. their lack of communication confirms their maturity level.. esp bc it was something planned out from such a long time ago

many of my friends who were running the show were extremely angry.. however looking at it from an outside point of view i know its important not to hold grudges against people.. something that i've learned this year is that when people do things to upset you repeatedly you cant let it get to you. the only thing you can do is lower your expectations so that you dont get hurt. also its important to give people love no matter what-- this is really difficult but it is prob one of the most important things. ever time i catch myself judging people bc of their actions i try to ground myself so that I can filter it out my negative thoughts.

--overall the show was really good.. celebrated some chics bday i didnt know and then I ended up crashing at Aisha and Sonia's place with like 6 other people :) def a fun night

Bzzzzzzz 

my phone continues to ring...

9:00 am Saturday morning. I rush out of bed and speed home. My uncle is returning to Uganda and I need to see him before his flight leaves. If I miss him I might not be able to see him for another 9 months (that is if he decides not to "stop by" on 3 or 4 countries on the way). My uncle Vahid is prob one of the most amazing people I know. If he wrote a autobiography he would no doubt have best-seller sitting in borders. However he is too humble to ever do that. This man grew up with nothing and made himself into every single thing he ever wanted to be. He is truly a chameleon; in addition to be quitty, fast, funny, caustious, persistent, subtle, absorbant, and charming. He's like a magnent; everyone wants to be around him. Even Oprah has tried to get him on her show.. but for some reason he refuses. This man has done everything from getting the opportunity to be an embassdor for Coca-Cola in China (under the age of 21 even though he couldnt take the offer), to a restaurant owner, to a martial arts teacher, and the list goes on...

Currently he has been working for International Lifeline which is a humanitarian organization that does work in Africa. He has been the main manager for the last three- even though he has no prior work in humanitarian work. He has been acknowledged by the UN numerous times and given updates reports about situations in Uganda and Sudan. He currently runs the largest project in darfur. basically the man is ridiculous. Im not writing all this because Im trying to braga bout my uncle. I just admire him soo much-- I wish I had his passion and dedication. He did all this by himself. He never has support from anyone. He had to flee his country during hard times so he was never raised by his parents. Basically my mom and dad raised my uncle when they were college students themselves. Long story short the man has come a long way. I love him to death and I just wish I could see him more. I hope God takes care of him bc he has an extremely dangerous job. 

O yea.. back to my story.. so after I go home I see my uncle for no more than 45 seconds then he jumps in a car and drives off to BWI.

Later that night I meet with Bur bc he tells me that he wants to take me somewhere for my bday. I was excited but I knew something was up bc Bur is ALWAYSSSSSS up to something shady lol : P I never trust him with anything bc he always pulls a prank on me or does something ridiculous. anyways this time he seemed actually legit.. so were on our way to dc and we end up going to marakesh.. once i got there the room was dark and i see a this white kid staring at me. lol i realized it was my friend james..i was soo confused at first.. but then I saw the rest of my friends. basically im about to fall asleep on my computer right now and im trying to type this as fast at possible... but the nnight was amazing.. it was def the best birthday i had. the restaurant and atmosphere was great.. but the reason i had so much fun was bc i really enjoyed the presence of my friends and it made me realize who is really there for me at the end of the day. this was the first time both of my best childhood friends didnt show up or call me. One of them had an excuse but the other one has still not contacted me. Its a long and complicated thing........ but I know God is trying to teach me acceptance of people's actions. People dont change, you can only change yourself. Its really hard not to take things personally-- but Im trying my really best to let go of any residue I have left on me. 

Once again this night really made me appreciate my brother. hes absolutely amazing and always goes out of his way to do things for me whether they are necessary or not. So this is to you! Thanks =)

Manifesto

Sooo I basically have to write a manifesto  for my history class which freaks me out--!!!

Crrapppp 

One word? one paragraph? 10 pages? Explaining my purpose in life as an artist in many or so few words???

Articulate, straight-forward, inspirational, different, meaningful, progressive...

once again--not only about content but quality of presentation as art form itself 

I am a creation which needs to create.. 

My appreciation for art has changed so much since I came to college... my experiences have made me so much more well-rounded. Ive learned how much the creation of artists impact culture and politics. Artists defines society... how we live.. look like.. function... the quality of life.. etc. Yet they barely get credibility because people just look at things from surface level. they dont understand how the seeds have sprouted....

Honestly, how much more art does this world need? Now that we have better technology people are just creating thousands of images each day...in fact we are prob bombarded with hundreds of images each day (tv, newspaper, magazines, computer, etc)... what what the point of adding to that junk? so much times goes into it and people might spend 3 sec looking at it.. Theres gotta be more to why people are doing this.... and thats the point of this paper; to figure out what my point is.

Its a long and complicated.. but there is a wonderful explanation behind all this madness...

I just read McClouds book which makes me feel a little better because he talks about the universal struggles of the artist / the development of their work process as a whole..

As a communication designer, its important to; encourage others; be an influence; be influenced; exceed expectations; develop written rationale; try harder; be thorough; serve the concept; take NOTHING for granted; be intuitive; make it valuable; use your tools to develop effective visual vernacular; become better every project. 

Writing this is more than just a grade- its helping me understand who I am more and being more focused. Im way too spread out right now. This is a reality check for me. 

I'll post my manifesto once I finish it in Dec : P

Building Blocks

So im working on a project for my gd4 class... I have to make a creative calendar that has one consistent theme, and i can use any format and any dimension. My theme is architecture..I planning on focusing on one famous architect per page (with 2 months dedicated to each page). The typography and numerical design has to be very playful yet functional.. I also have to include additional information on each artist. I started looking at various architectural movements in the 20th-21th century such as modernism, bauhaus, structuralism, deconstructionism, formalism, post-modernism, organic..etc

Basically a lot of shit to look through

The artists I've chosen so far are:

Zaha Hadid (Iraq)

Frank Gehry  (Canada)

Eero Saarinen (Finland)

Walter Gropius (Germany)

Tom Wright (England)

Arata Isozaki (Japan)

One of the tough parts about this project is that I can only use typography for my imagery. So I basically have to create abstract architecture with letters. I cant use any real pictures or color. I think this will be really good bc I it push me to really work on the core of my design (as far as pure form). 

 ;p

Hey Hey Hey

So I finally forced myself to start blogging today :)

I'm excited to excited to see where I take this...

The last year of my life has been the biggest roller coaster ever. I've been on so many emotional highs and lows, but I feel like Ive been able to deal with everything realitivly well. The growth I've been able to experience has been such a blessing from God... and I really can't wait to see what he has in line for me next. Hopefully blogging can help me look back at some of the major events I went through in the future...

Friday I went all the way to Shamsheri with my family bc my sister and bro-in-law were visiting from PA. It was great seeing them but I feel like im out of touch.. especially with my sister. We only just started becoming close right before she began medical school.. but at that point i felt like it was almost too late. I barely ever see her or talk to her because shes either on call at random hours of the day or shes moving from state to state for her rotations. I really hope once she settles down that we can reconnect and start building our relationship again. 

Ever since she moved out 4 years ago, I feel like I am an only child at home. Its definitely a weird feeling...

I know its going to be very difficult to finish off this semester. My classes keep getting more and more intense.... The work load worries me but I know its a great opportunity to keep myself in-check and practice discipline. 

Discipline is something I've been focusing on a lot since Ramadan has ended. I never realized how much discipline in one aspect of your life, carries over to over things. My mom read me a great quote a few weeks ago: 

"Discipline is the surest means to greater freedom and independence."